Widowhood is a state in which a woman loses her husband and does not remarry. The death of a husband automatically plunges his wife into widowhood. In a patriarchal society, widows are subjected to inhuman treatment following their spouse’s death.
The practice of widowhood is an unfair cultural norm that targets women who lose their husbands. The impacts of this offensive culture, particularly on women in the twenty-first century, have weakened the character of women.
Since 2011, the United Nations has observed June 23 as International Widows Day, to draw attention to the voices and experiences of widows and to galvanize the support for their unique needs.
The day is an opportunity for action towards achieving full rights and recognition for widows. This includes providing information on accessing their fair share of inheritance, land, and resources; pensions and social protection; and empowering widows to support themselves and their families. It also addresses social stigmas, exclusion, and discriminatory or harmful practices.
For instance, in some communities, widows are forced to bathe in the water used for washing the deceased. This practice is intended to prove the widow’s innocence, either in relation to her husband’s death or in concealing his belongings from his family.
There are calls for the establishment of a commission across the states of the federation to address the plights of the widows and widowers in Nigeria, similar to the diaspora commission and others.
Widowhood practices are observed by almost all ethnic groups in Nigeria, particularly among the Yoruba, Igbo, and Hausa. These cultural practices have existed for generations and have been passed down over time.
The issue of widowhood, particularly in Nigeria, appears to have significant gender implications, as cultural practices are particularly harsh on widows compared to widowers. Traditions impose varying degrees of physical hardship, deprivation, ritual contamination, emotional instability, socio-economic and psychological trauma on widows. Widowhood is often the beginning of life-long oppression and misery for women.
Widowhood Rites in Igbo Land
Widowhood traditions vary across cultures. Among the Igbo people of Southeast Nigeria, a widow is expected to weep and scream publicly, showing extreme anguish and crying day and night. To prove her innocence, she must drink the water used to wash her husband’s corpse and may be confined with his body. she is also required to shave her head and body completely hairless.
Mrs Patricia Eligbue, a resident of Awka in Anambra state, said widows are forced to drink water used in bathing the corpse of her husband in Atani community.
Another widow, Mrs Okechukwu Clement stated that all genders should be treated equally and should have equal rights to decent life and empowerment opportunities.
The majority of women in the South-East find this exclusion intolerable and plan to challenge it in court. Despite the persistence of these negative customs in many communities, intervention by some non-governmental organizations has somewhat reduced the severity of some of these harmful practices.
In some Igbo communities, widows must sleep with the high priest of a deity to rid themselves of their deceased husband’s spirit as a mark of purification. Some are forced to spend their day sitting in a chair or on the ground from morning till evening, as it’s taboo for them to sleep in the afternoon. They are not allowed to shake hands and must undergo 28 days of seclusion without stepping out of their house.
After this initial period, the widow must observe an additional two to five months of mourning, depending on particular cultural practices. During this time, she wears either black or white clothing, depending on the family and religious inclination.
In some cultures, widows are prevented from seeing the corpse of their husbands or eat the food cooked for the burial rites of her husband.
As painful as it is, these obnoxious practices are perpetrated on the widow by other women called “Umuada” who are daughters of the deceased immediate and extended families.
Widowhood practices in Yoruba land
In many Yoruba tribes, a widow must cook with broken pots and eat from broken plates. On the seventh day, she is expected to shave her hair to break the link to her deceased spouse. She is also supposed to keep vigils and show deep sadness by crying uncontrollably. It is believed that if she does not grieve properly, she might go insane or lose her claim to benefits.
Following this, she enters the official grieving period, which could last for three or four months, during which she is expected to behave immaculately in order to facilitate her late husband’s rapid admittance into the community of his ancestors’ spirits. After three or four months, a widow will performs the outing ceremony, which include being washed in the night after having the final wailing, making some rituals which are expected to finally put the spirit of the departed soul to final rest and performs the “outing” rites which involves changing of dresses and being led to the market.
The rites also involve the widow going into an elaborate party which is referred to as “ijade-opo” to mark the outing. With this a widow will have to spend all she had left in shouldering the responsibilities of the ceremony. The widow then steps into the shoes of a provider, becoming the breadwinners of their family. On the inheritance right, the deceased husband’s property is shared among his children.
However, in the event that the family is polygamous, the assets are divided among his several wives. In contrast, the man’s possessions will be distributed in line with his wishes if he left a will. In Yoruba Land, widows are not entitled to inherit their husbands’ property; rather, they are viewed as a portion of their husbands’ inheritance, which is to be passed down to the husband’s family.
A widow and her children may be disowned and left on their own to fend for themselves if they failed to cooperate with the family on this basis. In Yoruba nation, widows are obligated to undergo these rites regardless of whether the relationship is blessed with children or not.
Widowhood among the Hausa
Joy Ameen lost her husband Muhammad in 2022. She described how their happy marriage abruptly took a terrible turn in Gombe State. They were together for four years before to being married in December 2019, although they were childless.
For me, the inability to have children made her husband’s passing an intolerable tragedy, Joy recounted.
“It’s not an experience any woman should go through,” she lamented.
Sadly, the absence of a child was used as a tool against the widow as her in-laws denied her access to her husband’s property, dividing it among themselves. This occurred barely two weeks after his burial.
”The red soil on his grave was still fresh,” she said.
She said, “After the burial, my in-laws told me that they will come to Abuja to pack my husband’s property. I pleaded with them to wait till the end of the year, but they refused. His sister came and days later, other relatives joined her and they packed everything to the village.
They told her that her husband’s property would be returned to her after a year.
Widowhood struggles; a global challenge
According to UN Women, for many women around the world, the devastating loss of a partner is worsened by a long-term struggle for their basic rights and dignity. The body noted that there are over 258 million widows globally that have “historically been left unseen, unsupported, and unmeasured in our societies.
Some are denied access to inheritance, bank accounts, and credit, which can have significant financial impacts for them, their children, and future generations,” the body added.
Following the passing of her husband, Samuel, another widow, Esther Buzum, a resident of Jos, remembered clearly how her in-laws referred to her as a possessed lady. Because she had no children with her late husband, the woman was called a witch, shunned like a misfit, and deprived of the only farmland in their marriage.
According to International Committee of the Red Cross, over More 7,000 women registered with the Christian and Muslim Widows Association in Maiduguri have lost their husbands to the conflict between Boko Haram.
The widows of the conflict can now provide food, health care and schooling for their families. In the process, they have regained their dignity and built the confidence they need to stand on their own two feet.
What is the Way Out?
It is therefore important to empower women as this will serve as security for them against various forms of violence especially widowhood practices.
Government at all levels should provide empowerment opportunities for widows and encouraged them to be educated and be self dependent so that they can take care of themselves and their children.
Women or the girl child should be given inheritance in their father’s and husband’s properties which are in line with the principles of equity, social justice, and nondiscrimination as provisional in the constitution of the federal republic of Nigeria.
The judiciary system must protect the rights and dignity of widows from family of late husbands.
Traditional harmful practices on widows should be abolished and law should promulgated to protect the widows from extended families.
To avoid the children suffering after the death of the father, there must be a written Will to avoid trouble after the demise of the bread winner.
Again, Governments and non-governmental organizations, as well as religious assemblies should speak up against inhuman treatment of widows, and skill acquisition and empowerment should be provide by the Government for them.
We must put a stop to this unwholesome practices now!
Written by Adeniyi Bakare; editing by Annabel Nwachukwu
